Alright, since I'm sure people have been seeing me rant on facebook about how my life has been sucking- I'll just explain that right now.
Well, a few of my friends back in Gladstone have been deciding that I have been treating them bad and ignoring them, and not being a good friend. While that could be true, I think the way it was brought up was wrong and could have been better. One of them, we've been having issues for about a year now, but as far as I knew, we were on pretty good terms. Apparently not. However, she should have brought it up to me, rather than have someone who's not even involved in any way tell me how she was feeling. And taking sides-that always makes me happy. Not saying that I want them to take my side, but I want them to put aside their bias's and try and see where I'm coming from. Which is what I try to do every time someone wants to tell me how they feel. And I do my best to do that.
And I feel like every time I tried to explain why I did the things I did, and why I said the things I said- she just said that it was wrong, and that the other person didn't deserve it because her life is hard and she has hard classes. Which I understand! Hello- I was best friends with her at one point, I know how her life is hard and her study habits. However, you weren't there when we had our fights and tiff's. You weren't there when the other one cried. You weren't there to see how we handle our problems. Let us figure it out ourselves, and get your nose out of it. And then, last night a friend of mine who doesn't try to talk to me, or go to anything we plan, or try really texted me and yelled at me for not ever trying to get a hold of her! Hi, wanna try answering the phone or answering my texts, or try showing up when we plan a hang out session? Then you can tell me I don't try to be your friend. Friendship is a two way thing, I'm done trying to be both sides.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
And so, after all that drama in my life, I'm doing really really really REALLY bad in school right now and I have NO idea why it's sucking so damn bad! I'm studying, doing my homework, participating in classes, and I don't skip as much as other people- just sometimes I need to sleep or work on something for another class. But the end result to all of this is 3. BIG. FAT. F's. on my Midterms this term. Like...legit F's. I don't think I've ever gotten an F outside of Zerzan's damn classes, and my math classes.
That's a big confidence booster, yeah?
I literally have no idea what I can do to help me get better grades. I'm just going to hang out with people less and try and study more. This weekend is going to be dedicated to French and studying it. HELL, I'M GOING TO DREAM IN FRENCH BY SUNDAY!!! I have to pass these classes with a B. Otherwise I can't get into the RA program next year- which I really need to! Not only will it be a great experience for me, but you live and eat here for free. And I don't want dad to have to pay money for me to go to school. He has so much to pay for already.
I literally have no idea what I can do to help me get better grades. I'm just going to hang out with people less and try and study more. This weekend is going to be dedicated to French and studying it. HELL, I'M GOING TO DREAM IN FRENCH BY SUNDAY!!! I have to pass these classes with a B. Otherwise I can't get into the RA program next year- which I really need to! Not only will it be a great experience for me, but you live and eat here for free. And I don't want dad to have to pay money for me to go to school. He has so much to pay for already.
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HERE!
Okay, well I'm done ranting for now. Now for the 30 Day blog challenge.
"Your first love"
Hmm...well, honestly, my first love was a friend of mine. I wasn't expecting to like them at all, because I was so close to them and there was other variables involved (how's that for a math term? lol. Variables...). I'm not going into this too much, because I don't feel like shelling out all of this new information about myself via internet for everyone to read. But basically, it was that one very close friend of mine. And then they got a girlfriend, and I had to learn to deal with that and stay friends with them. Which sucked, but that was that. I think I told them once that I really liked them, but we had both decided for the sake of our maturity to just be friends. (: I'm alright with it, just took some time to get over it.
Sorry, this isn't a very good description for my first love, but I just don't want to go into it.
F.MY.LIFE.
Peace, love, and follow the spiders.
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